Your Funniest Stories Wanted

[digidude]

ok what about the time we did that trip and i vanished it was you that was left looking in the saucepans for me

lol, and that tigers nose was too pink to be real

 

[RAB - P]

don't know if I mentioned this one before.

when I was about 18 was going out with this lass
and we just came out of the movies and where going
to get something to eat so decided to stroll along
The River Clyde walkway and started getting a bit horny
nobody was about so found a quiet corner just below
Jamacia street and was in the middle of a quick knee trembler
when we heard a lot of banging and cheering could not see anybody
but then looked above us.

a bloody double decker bus had broke down and everybody on the
top deck was watching.

 

[Nani121]

keep'em comin some funny stuff

 

[bro]

come on peeps give us some more roud:

 

[daveleebond]

remember taking ketamine and going to Bowlers, manchester, was convinced the guy dancing next to me was a statue, kept walking round him and prodding him, luckily my friends dragged me away and explained to the guy.

 

[seanicca]

um there was a time we got in from the pub again lol

He decided to give me a nice suprice and have a trim down below, well he vanished upstairs with my hairdressing sisccors came down nearly crying and all panicky, he'd only gonna sliced right threw his bean bag right down to the tubes, he wouldnt go to hospital so he made me patch him up with toilet roll and selotape lmao he did really need a few stitches tho lmao (he gonna kill me for this one)

nearly hit my pc when i spat my tea out reading that:roflmao:


bet his face was a picture when pulling the sellotape off :arrrr:

 

[witchy]

I once farted and shit myself in ASDA.

 

[Baaheeduk]

I once farted and shit myself in ASDA.

I work in a small office with three women and one other bloke, it's really difficult to try and contain yourself after reading a post like that

I had to leave the office to go and have a good hearty laugh.

 

[Napster]

I once farted and shit myself in ASDA.

atleast you was in ASDA they have toilets

 

[stevemac40]

I was in student digs with a couple of mates. One of the lads had decided to run himself a bath and had put a load of bubble bath in. The other lad went the toilet while it was running and thought nothing more.
15 minutes later an almighty scream came from the bathroom, aparently the second lad had shat in the bath and the first only realised once he had got in and was splashing water over himself.

The house was very quiet for a few days after that. LOL

 

[Baaheeduk]

Actually Witchy, you've been at it in Morrisons too - LOOK HERE

Now everybody knows you wear womens knickers

 

[janobi]

Last year I went on my annual trip to Amsterdam, and decided to take some peruvian mushrooms, they were bright blue. I ate them, and as you can imagine started to trip, and hallucinate quite vividly. After about 2 hours, this started to get a bit much, so I went back to the hotel. For the next 6 hours of the day, I bounced around the hotel thinking I was a green jelly baby. I was even asking people was this real, and could they see I was a green jelly baby.

Surfice to say, I will never dabble in mushrooms again. lol.

 

[daveleebond]

at college i dabbled in shrooms picked from pendleton college's field, brewed them up and put in a pot noodle, went nuts, thought my best mate at the time was a puppet?