xXx
Inactive User
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2005
- Messages
- 940
- Reaction score
- 2
Martin Jol is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman bursts in through the door demanding money. Jol attempts to tackle the raider, but gets knocked over...as he falls, his head smashes the counter and Jol is out cold. The robber escapes and the cashier tries to revive Jol. After a few minutes he comes round and looks bewildered. His first words are "Where the hell am I?". The Cashier replies: "don't worry, its ok, you're in the Nationwide." …Jol replies, "F**k me, is it May already?"
Why did Martin Jol go to Argos ...?
It's the only place he could pick up Premier points.
Martin Jol is out shopping in town when he sees an old lady struggling with her shopping…
MJ "Can you manage, love?"
Old Lady: "Up yours Fat Boy, you took the job, you're stuck with it…"
How many Tottenham fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they're all happy living in the shadows…
A Tottenham fan is in the Australian outback and he approaches a farmer with a proposition… "Excuse me Sir, if I can tell you how many sheep you have on your farm, can I have one…?" The farmer thinks there's no chance of him guessing so he agrees… "I reckon you've got 19,753…" The farmer is amazed as this is the correct number and tells him to help himself, which he duly does. The farmer then says "I need a bit of a chance to get even with you, so if I can tell you what football team you support, can I have my sheep back…?" The Tottenham fan agrees and is also stunned when the farmer correctly names the cheating Scum as his favourite team. "How did you know that…?" enquires the Scummer. "Never mind how I knew, put my dog down and feck off…"
An Arsenal fan is jumping up and down on the railway line chanting "thirteen, thirteen, thirteen..." when a Tottenham fan comes over and asks him what he's doing... The Arsenal fan tells him its fun, and invites him to try... upon this a high speed train zooms past at 100 miles an hour killing the Tottenham fan stone dead...
The Arsenal fan carries on jumping on and off the rail chanting "fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."
Why did Martin Jol go to Argos ...?
It's the only place he could pick up Premier points.
Martin Jol is out shopping in town when he sees an old lady struggling with her shopping…
MJ "Can you manage, love?"
Old Lady: "Up yours Fat Boy, you took the job, you're stuck with it…"
How many Tottenham fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they're all happy living in the shadows…
A Tottenham fan is in the Australian outback and he approaches a farmer with a proposition… "Excuse me Sir, if I can tell you how many sheep you have on your farm, can I have one…?" The farmer thinks there's no chance of him guessing so he agrees… "I reckon you've got 19,753…" The farmer is amazed as this is the correct number and tells him to help himself, which he duly does. The farmer then says "I need a bit of a chance to get even with you, so if I can tell you what football team you support, can I have my sheep back…?" The Tottenham fan agrees and is also stunned when the farmer correctly names the cheating Scum as his favourite team. "How did you know that…?" enquires the Scummer. "Never mind how I knew, put my dog down and feck off…"
An Arsenal fan is jumping up and down on the railway line chanting "thirteen, thirteen, thirteen..." when a Tottenham fan comes over and asks him what he's doing... The Arsenal fan tells him its fun, and invites him to try... upon this a high speed train zooms past at 100 miles an hour killing the Tottenham fan stone dead...
The Arsenal fan carries on jumping on and off the rail chanting "fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."
