What was the sex in your relationship like before she got pregnant?
Sex for women starts in their minds you know, we're not the same as men. And maybe she feels embarrassed about the changes to her body after giving birth, maybe she just doesn't feel sexy anymore. What do you do to show her affection other times, do you cuddle her, tell her she looks great, pay her attention etc to make her feel like a desirable woman, or do you basically ignore her physically unless you are looking for a shag?
She could also be uptight cos she is afraid the child is gonna wake up etc, a lot of mums with small children are like that.
Also i notice you expect oral, but you don't reciprocate, amazing how some blokes think like that!
If she has a real issue with muscle tone after giving birth there are a number of things that can be done. You can buy weights called vaginal cones Vaginal cones or she can ask her doctor to recommend her to a gynacologist who may advise her to have an operation if she has had a prolapse or suffers from stress incontinence. I don't know if the NHS would pay if its purely to tighten things up for your sexual pleasure, but there is an op for that, i think it's called Fenton's procedure. But the fact is if she has problems after giving birth you complaining about how it affects your sexual pleasure is really gonna make her feel even more embarrassed and worse about her body, its a vicious circle.
There is also an instructional film called 'The Joy of Sex' you will prob find a torrent somewhere.
Good shout there Eva, I can highly recommend this film, I've seen myself a few times (10,001)
if you need a copy pm Munkey, that's where I got mine.
:Cheers: