BRIAN1956
DW Joke King
The madam opened the brothel door in Austin and saw a rather dignified,
well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
'May I help you sir?" she asked.
'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.
'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer
someone else', said the madam.
'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a
visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave
it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.The next night, the man appeared again,
once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she
was too expensive. But there were no discounts. The price was still $5000.
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went
upstairs.
After an hour, he left.The following night the man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but
he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man,
'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'.
The man replied, ' Odessa '.
'Really', she said. 'I have family in Odessa .
''I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, I am her attorney. She asked me
to give you your $15,000 inheritance.
'The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
GIRL: Well, he kissed me.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist kissed the girl )
GIRL: ......Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top )
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes )
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl )
GIRL: .Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!
well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
'May I help you sir?" she asked.
'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.
'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer
someone else', said the madam.
'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a
visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave
it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.The next night, the man appeared again,
once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she
was too expensive. But there were no discounts. The price was still $5000.
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went
upstairs.
After an hour, he left.The following night the man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but
he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man,
'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'.
The man replied, ' Odessa '.
'Really', she said. 'I have family in Odessa .
''I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, I am her attorney. She asked me
to give you your $15,000 inheritance.
'The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
GIRL: Well, he kissed me.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist kissed the girl )
GIRL: ......Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top )
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes )
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl )
GIRL: .Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!
