One liners (adult nature)


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Mar 24, 2005
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Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A.) Blow job: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q.) What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"

Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? .......... It's all tongue in groove, with no studs

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence.

Q: What do a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have little Black Boxes.

What's the best thing about receiving oral sex from a woman? Ten minutes of silence....

Q: Why can't Barbie get pregnant?
A: Because Ken comes in a different box.

Q: What do you get if you cross a pit bull with a hooker?
A: Your last blow job.

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A bitch who won't do what she's told.

Q: Did you here about the dyslexic Satanist......
A: He sold his soul to Santa

Q: Why isn't George Michael allowed to vote?
A: He can't go into a cubicle alone.

Q: How do you know when you are getting old?
A: When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Q: What's 100 yards long and smells of piss?
A: The Post Office queue on Thursday mornings.

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy.