Samaritans are offering counselling to all Chelsea fans. Call 0800 101010 – that’s 08000 won nothing won nothing won nothing.
And If that line gets too busy there is another number to call: 0800 6-5 6-5 6-5.
Missing: 1 x Bottle
Last Seen: 21st May, Moscow
If found please return to: John Terry, Stamford Bridge, London
Heard about the John Terry tyre? Excellent durability but not so good in the wet.
John Terry always listens to the same song before a game - Born Slippy.
What is top of the man utd pop charts? Footloose.
Did you hear about the new 'Chelsea Bra'? Lots of support but no cups.
Frank Lampard and Joe Cole were allegedly spotted out in Red Square last night, having clearly had one or two drinks. They were reportedly singing: "We're forever blowing Doubles."