BRIAN1956
DW Joke King
That'll teach her.
I spent the first day packing my personal belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, I had the movers come and collect my things.
On the third day,
I sat down for the last time at our beautiful dining room table by candlelight,
put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp,
a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When I had finished, I went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar,
into the hollow of the all of the curtain rods.
I then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the ex-wife returned with her new boyfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything, Cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days,
and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then I called the ex, and asked how things were going.
She told me the saga of the rotting house.
I listened politely, and said that I missed the old home terribly,
and would be willing to sign the divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Her knowing that I had no idea how bad the smell was,
she agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth,
but only if I were to sign the papers that very day.
I agreed, and within the hour my lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the ex and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company,
rape the house and pack everything to take to their new home
... including the curtain rods!
I spent the first day packing my personal belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, I had the movers come and collect my things.
On the third day,
I sat down for the last time at our beautiful dining room table by candlelight,
put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp,
a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When I had finished, I went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar,
into the hollow of the all of the curtain rods.
I then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the ex-wife returned with her new boyfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything, Cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days,
and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then I called the ex, and asked how things were going.
She told me the saga of the rotting house.
I listened politely, and said that I missed the old home terribly,
and would be willing to sign the divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Her knowing that I had no idea how bad the smell was,
she agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth,
but only if I were to sign the papers that very day.
I agreed, and within the hour my lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the ex and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company,
rape the house and pack everything to take to their new home
... including the curtain rods!
