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Fanny Licking Frog

BRIAN1956

DW Joke King
Joined
Oct 3, 2007
Messages
76
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17
#1
A woman was walking down a back street when her attention was drawn to a petshop window with a sign in it.

The sign read "Fanny-licking Frog £10".

Her curiosity was getting the better of her, so she had to go in and enquire further.

Inside she nervously approached the man behind the counter and asked

"I couldn't help notice the sign in the window, is it serious ?"

"Of course mam, this frog is highly trained and your satisfaction is guaranteed".

"Really ?"

"Yes. If you have any problems you can return him here. I can't be any fairer than that".

So she bought the frog and rushed off home.

On the bus home, her sexual frustration got the better of her and she quietly took the frog out and slipped him inside her knickers...

Nothing.

Thinking maybe the frog is uncertain with a new person, she said she'd wait and try again when she got home.

When she got home, she lay down on the bed, took the frog out and put him between her legs....

Nothing.

Maybe if she got him in the bath he'd be more comfortable in the water, so she ran a bath, stripped off and in she pops with the frog...

Nothing.

Enraged, she jumps out, dresses and flies back to the shop.

When she gets there, she fumes at the owner

"You told me this was a fanny-licking frog and my satisfaction was guaranteed.

Well nothing happened".

"Are you sure?" said the man

"Of course I'm bloody sure".

"Ok,Ok, hold on now. Pull down your pants".

She does.

"Now sit up there on the counter".

She does.

"Spread your legs".

She does.

The man bends over, looks at the frog and says

"Now I'm NOT gonna show you again !!!"
:licker:
 

MFCGMFC

Inactive User
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
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7,052
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#3
i liked it lol i had to read the punch line twice before i got it lol

Cheers
MFCGAVMFC
 

c9679

Inactive User
Joined
Sep 18, 2004
Messages
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#5
A bloke see's an an advert in a pet shop for a talking centipede £5000, he is intrigued he buys it and takes it home in a small box.

After half an hour he opens the box and asks if it would like to go for a pint, the centipede doesnt answer.

Raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply, getting angry thinking he's been done he shouts the question again.

The centipede sticks his head out of the box and says, "I heard you the first time, I was just putting my f***ing shoes on"



Sorry I didnt want to start a new thread for this :)
 

manutd4life

Inactive User
Joined
Dec 28, 2007
Messages
3,865
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44
#6
A bloke see's an an advert in a pet shop for a talking centipede £5000, he is intrigued he buys it and takes it home in a small box.

After half an hour he opens the box and asks if it would like to go for a pint, the centipede doesnt answer.

Raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply, getting angry thinking he's been done he shouts the question again.

The centipede sticks his head out of the box and says, "I heard you the first time, I was just putting my f***ing shoes on"



Sorry I didnt want to start a new thread for this :)
pmsl that ones good
 

BRIAN1956

DW Joke King
Joined
Oct 3, 2007
Messages
76
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17
#10
it gets worse LOL

When I got home from work last night, my Missus demanded that I take her out to some place expensive...................


So I took her to a petrol station
 

BRIAN1956

DW Joke King
Joined
Oct 3, 2007
Messages
76
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17
#11
And Worser Still

A woman was walking down a back street when her attention was drawn to a shop window with a sign in it.

The sign read "Fanny-licking Frog £10".

Her curiosity was getting the better of her, so she had to go in and enquire further.

Inside she nervously approached the man behind the counter and asked

"I couldn't help notice the sign in the window, is it serious ?"

"Of course mam, this frog is highly trained and your satisfaction is guaranteed".

"Really ?"

So she handed over the money and a Frenchman walked out to her and said,

"Bonjours madam, How is your fanny?"

"Wee Wee" said the woman.

"Ah, already wet" said the Frenchie.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Or did they?

On the way home they decided to go for a Chinese:proud:

But the chinese beat them up and they then went for an Indian.

Sudddenly a bunch of flaming arrows whizzed passed their heads.

The woman said" did you see those arrows"?

"I didn't even know it was a one-way street" said the frog, sorry Frenchman.

"No" said the woman.

"They were Injuns, the kind John Wayne ( all bow ) used to kill,

like that guy who used to be with the "lone Ranger"

"Tonto"? said the frenchie.

"gazuntite" said the woman.

" I hope it does" said the frenchie.

They decided to cross the road.

Halfway across, they met a chicken and ate it.

"What part of France are you from" said the woman.

"Ze mountains" said the frenchie.

"The alps"? said the woman.

"Wee Wee" said the frenchie,

"Ze Alps, did you know that beyond Ze Alps lie more Alps and
the lord Alps those that helps Alps themselves"

And so it went on.

They got a council house.

Free medical card.

Free electricity.

Dole money.

And had loads of kids, who went joyriding.


THE END.....emm...FIN.




 
Last edited:

BRIAN1956

DW Joke King
Joined
Oct 3, 2007
Messages
76
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#14
You shouldn't post when you're p*ssed Brian.

Me doesn't drink :proud:


" beyond the Alps lie more Alps and
the lord Alps those that helps Alps themselves"


You like the movies Nara.........what movie is the above line from:banana:

My role-model said it :Wave: