essex girl

jawbreaker

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An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.


It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the
news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car!" wails the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of 'em!"

=========================

Another Essex girl is involved in a serious crash. There's blood
everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying
flat
out on the ground.

Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."

Girl: "OK."

Medic: "OK the how many fingers am I putting up?"

Girl: "Oh my God, I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

==========================

Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.

She says, "'Scuse me mate, I ain't being funny or nuffink, but why duz one
of your wellies 'ave an "L" on it and the uvva one got an "R" on it?"

So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,
"Well, Oim a little bit tick, you see. De one with de R on it is for me
roight foot and de L is for me left foot."

"Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got
C&A on them."
 

Rat

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LOL Im not upset heard them all before and many more too lmao
think there very funny ;)
 

Napster

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i bet they do a book on essex girl jokes, if they do can you please send it to me m8
 

name750

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C&A's!!!!!!!

The fingers one I don't get it!

But the c and a's. How many years did they shut down.
We can actually date how old a joke is??
It's got to be six years at least.
All the young whipersnapers won't have a clue what that joke means.

How many fingers????? Haaaa!
 

smitherz

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absolutely brilliant! I have never heard that joke
 

grapy

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lol good one m8
 
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