Earthquake in Newcastle.

[Dutcho]

>
>
> Subject: HURRICANE HITS NEWCASTLE
>
> A major hurricane and earthquake measuring 5.8 on
>
> the Richter scale hit Newcastle in the early hours of Thursday with
its
>
> epicentre in Byker. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly,
>
> muttering "Fukinell". The hurricane decimated the area causing
>approximately £30 worth of
>
> improvements. Several priceless collections of mementos from the
>
> Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic
>
> burnt out cars were disturbed.
>
> Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Metro FM
>
> reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and
>were still
>
> trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had
>happened in Byker. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old
>mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes
>came running into m y bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and
>Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was
>skinning up and watchin g Trisha the next morning."
>
> Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and
>
> carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to
>
> ship 4,000 crates of Sunny
>
> Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are
>
> still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities
>
> of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from
>
> Elizabeth Duke and Bone China from Poundland.
>
>
>
>
>
> HOW CAN YOU HELP?
>
>
>
> This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for
>
> those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing
>
> is most sought after - items most needed include: Fila or Burberry
>
> baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), Shell suits
>
> (female), White sport socks, Rockport boots and any other items
>
> usually sold in Primark.
>
>
>
> Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
>
> Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans,
>
> Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for
>
> filling in the compensation forms. £2 buys chips, crisps and blue
>
> fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm
>
> the nerves of those affected.
>
>
>
>
>
> ***Breaking news***
>
>
>
> Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry
>
> alco-pop.'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked, "WALLSEND" said
>
> the girl,
>
> "wats that gorra de wit yee?"
>
>
>
> Please don't forward this to anyone living in Newcastle - oh, sod
>
> it,
>
> they won't be able to read it anyway.
>

 

[keefy7]

>
>
> Subject: HURRICANE HITS NEWCASTLE
>
> A major hurricane and earthquake measuring 5.8 on
>
> the Richter scale hit Newcastle in the early hours of Thursday with
its
>
> epicentre in Byker. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly,
>
> muttering "Fukinell". The hurricane decimated the area causing
>approximately £30 worth of
>
> improvements. Several priceless collections of mementos from the
>
> Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic
>
> burnt out cars were disturbed.
>
> Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Metro FM
>
> reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and
>were still
>
> trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had
>happened in Byker. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old
>mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes
>came running into m y bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and
>Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was
>skinning up and watchin g Trisha the next morning."
>
> Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and
>
> carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to
>
> ship 4,000 crates of Sunny
>
> Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are
>
> still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities
>
> of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from
>
> Elizabeth Duke and Bone China from Poundland.
>
>
>
>
>
> HOW CAN YOU HELP?
>
>
>
> This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for
>
> those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing
>
> is most sought after - items most needed include: Fila or Burberry
>
> baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), Shell suits
>
> (female), White sport socks, Rockport boots and any other items
>
> usually sold in Primark.
>
>
>
> Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
>
> Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans,
>
> Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for
>
> filling in the compensation forms. £2 buys chips, crisps and blue
>
> fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm
>
> the nerves of those affected.
>
>
>
>
>
> ***Breaking news***
>
>
>
> Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry
>
> alco-pop.'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked, "WALLSEND" said
>
> the girl,
>
> "wats that gorra de wit yee?"
>
>
>
> Please don't forward this to anyone living in Newcastle - oh, sod
>
> it,
>
> they won't be able to read it anyway.
>

Very funny just cleaning the coffee that i was drinking up lol: multi : : big crow

 

[bro]

lol nice one

 

[geordie_guy]

Nice one Dutcho very funny!!!!!!!