Corny 1 Liner Thread

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a bloody account."
"I'm sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank."

"Now listen up. I want to open an a bloody account here and I want it right now ! "

The clerk leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation.
They both return and the manager says to the fella : "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem," the man says. ..... "I've just won 50 million pounds on the damn lottery and I want to open a bloody account in this damn bank!

"I see," says the manager. ........ "And this bitch is giving you a hard time, is she ?"
 
Two teenagers are smoking a joint in the park. They get arrested and thrown in a cell and are told they can make one phone call.

Half an hour later, a guy turns up at the station. The sergeant says to him “ I assume you’re the kids’ lawyer ?”

“No – I’m the pizza delivery guy”.
 
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