Clever Computer

wasnotwasD

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One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I <br />think I'll go and see my Doctor!" His friend immediately replied, <br />"Don't do that.There's a new computer at Boots that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than your doctor. All you do is put in a sample of your piss and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do." Pete, figuring that he had nothing to lose, filled a jar with his piss, went to Boots where he found the computer and deposited his <br />sample and the computer started making a few noises and some lights started to flash. After a brief pause, out popped a small piece of paper which read: <br />YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW, SOAK YOUR ARM IN WATER THREE TIMES A DAY FOR AN HOUR. AVOID HEAVY WORK.YOUR ELBOW WILL GET BETTER IN TWO WEEKS. <br />That evening while thinking about how amazing this new technology was and how it could change the world of medicine forever, he began to wonder if the computer could be fooled.He decided to try. He mixed together some tap water, engine oil from his car, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and, at the last minute, masturbated into <br />the concoction.He went back to Boots, deposited the sample and paid his money. <br />After the noises and lights, out popped a piece of paper which read: <br />YOUR TAP WATER IS HARD, GET A SOFTENER. THE VALVES ON YOUR ENGINE ARE BROKEN, GET IT TO A GARAGE. YOUR DOG HAS WORMS, GET HIM TO A VET. YOUR DAUGHTER IS HOOKED ON COCAINE, GET HER TO REHAB. YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS, THEY ARE NOT YOURS, GET A LAWYER. AND IF YOU DON'T STOP ****ING, YOUR ELBOW WILL NEVER GET BETTER <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0"> <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0"> <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0">
 
<img src="biggrin.gif" border="0"> I like that one, must remember it to tell the lads in work next week <img src="graemlins/dizzy.gif" border="0" alt="[dizzy]" /> <img src="graemlins/dizzy.gif" border="0" alt="[dizzy]" /> <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0"> <img src="graemlins/dizzy.gif" border="0" alt="[dizzy]" /> <img src="graemlins/dizzy.gif" border="0" alt="[dizzy]" />

[ 18 November 2001: Message edited by: Highlander ]</p>
 
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