Cash machines

Spectre

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Women - Don't stand in front of them with no intention of using them waffling on your phone totally oblivious to the queue behind you. A bit like when you are transiting through the doors of public buildings doing the same thing on your phone. I literally had to ask a woman last week if she was using the machine or just standing in front of it. Turns out she wasn't using it.

Manufacturers - I used to be able to withdraw my weekly pocket money in eleven key presses. Now, with a different manufacturer, I can choose:

  • Cash with receipt
  • Cash with balance
  • Cash without receipt
  • Cash without balance

Guess what happens when I press "Cash without receipt"...

Give up?

I get two screens during the cash withdrawl process asking me if I want:

  1. A receipt
  2. My balance

No, just no.

Why do I use this recently-appeared machine? It's in the place where I shop, the nearest ones have an aggressive beggar next to them and I'd have to walk further.
 
I generally only use post office now to withdraw cash.
We have a small post office in our village shop and it’s much safer to use than a cash machine..
Tell the amount card in reader-pin okay-card out here’s your cash..and you get to say hello to people..
We also have a cash machine at the little Tesco express in the village that I will use when post office is closed but much prefer the post office.
 
Women - Don't stand in front of them with no intention of using them waffling on your phone totally oblivious to the queue behind you. A bit like when you are transiting through the doors of public buildings doing the same thing on your phone. I literally had to ask a woman last week if she was using the machine or just standing in front of it. Turns out she wasn't using it.

Manufacturers - I used to be able to withdraw my weekly pocket money in eleven key presses. Now, with a different manufacturer, I can choose:

  • Cash with receipt
  • Cash with balance
  • Cash without receipt
  • Cash without balance

Guess what happens when I press "Cash without receipt"...

Give up?

I get two screens during the cash withdrawl process asking me if I want:

  1. A receipt
  2. My balance

No, just no.

Why do I use this recently-appeared machine? It's in the place where I shop, the nearest ones have an aggressive beggar next to them and I'd have to walk further.
You forgot the part where they get a receipt first and then another one after they've withdrawn their money. They will then proceed to stand there examining the receipt, counting their money, stashing it in their purse before budging an inch :rolleyes:
 
we have one at work..never has any money in it now and then, so when you take your money out , it goes through the process of as if its dispensing your cash but nothing comes out. Yet money is deducted from your bank account. This happened to me many times, i then have to ring the number on the machine and explain how much i took out, where and when..etc...bloody annoying, but its convenient cos its at work...
 
Slightly off topic lol, i remember trying to withdraw £40 from the machine at the nearby college. It went through the motions, said take your card and wait for cash, then the card sort of got jammed in the slot and it took it and then the machine rebooted itself into some error (looked a bit like a Windows XP screen lol) and no card or cash (and i really wanted the cash to go and have some fun) so in my tantrum rage, along with shouting abuse at it, i tried to kick the screen through by stamping my foot into it.
I didn't realize there was a woman standing behind me lol. So i apologized to her and explained what had happened. Can't believe she didn't run off. She seemed quite undeterred. :)
 
and and and and why can the notes never be the same way around and I have to stand there for ages sorting them out before I put them in my wallet.......
 
It has happened to me two weeks in a row now. Woman last night couldn't have possibly dawdled more but she was actually using the machine unlike the one last week. I should pay the £10 fee to get M&S to release the security tapes with me on the footage, as they have to do this on request so I can show you all that I'm barely exaggerating.

You forgot the part where they get a receipt first and then another one after they've withdrawn their money. They will then proceed to stand there examining the receipt, counting their money, stashing it in their purse before budging an inch :rolleyes:

I did forget about that bit, usually when I'm late and it is ten minutes to the shop closing.

  1. Experiment with every feature on the machine.
  2. Order cheque book.
  3. Order paying in book.
  4. Change PIN and reinsert card and PIN.
  5. Withdraw money.
  6. Scrutinise receipt.
  7. Count money.
  8. Organise notes in order of age and condition.
  9. Put everything into purse.
  10. Pull out different card and start again.

Pretty much gone cashless these days

I remain skeptical of cashless as it gives complete control to banks if cash is eventually phased out. I also suspect purchasing habits will be sold on to advertisers. That's why I take the same amount out every week and buy everything in shops using cash :).
 
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People, of either sex, farting around at cash machines has always been one of my bugbears.

If I ever get invited onto Room 101...PissedOff.gif
 
I normally get between £20 and 50 a week paid to me in cash which is plenty the rest can quite happily be cash less
 
People, of either sex, farting around at cash machines has always been one of my bugbears.

If I ever get invited onto Room 101...View attachment 120873
Lol

Slightly off topic, one thing that annoys me is in the local Post Office, people at the counter that are aquatinted with the person serving, start a conversation and once they've been served, continue the conversation.
They could at least step to one side and let me get served. :)
 
Lol

Slightly off topic, one thing that annoys me is in the local Post Office, people at the counter that are aquatinted with the person serving, start a conversation and once they've been served, continue the conversation.
They could at least step to one side and let me get served. :)

That has happened to me in a few places. Sometimes you can see the person behind the counter starting to feel awkward. Notice that the friend will keep shuffling further away from the counter to give the impression they are ending the conversation but it is still in full flow.

"Eee, I haven't seen you since yesterday. Well Mabel said Ethel was a bit bad with her nerves but I said Ethel's never been bad with her nerves it was Ethel that said Mabel was bad with her nerves and she said...".
 
That has happened to me in a few places. Sometimes you can see the person behind the counter starting to feel awkward. Notice that the friend will keep shuffling further away from the counter to give the impression they are ending the conversation but it is still in full flow.

"Eee, I haven't seen you since yesterday. Well Mabel said Ethel was a bit bad with her nerves but I said Ethel's never been bad with her nerves it was Ethel that said Mabel was bad with her nerves and she said...".
Haha spot on lol

I know some of these are elderly and don't get out much, and could do with s good natter. But eat least let them serve the next customer and they can chat while their serving. :)
 
Haha spot on lol

I know some of these are elderly and don't get out much, and could do with s good natter. But eat least let them serve the next customer and they can chat while their serving. :)

Worst example I've seen was in a bank. It was peak time near noon and the queue got massive. I was just quickly paying something in (or was supposed to be doing so).

It was a bloke at the counter and he had a large sports bag. He was telling the cashier (or is that teller?) about how he was doing some martial arts thing at a gym and waffling about positive energy. He was asking her if she could feel his positive energy through the glass (I kid you not...). He was saying he didn't do the "rushing around thing any more". Trying to chat her up likely.

He was just about to leave the counter when he realised he'd forgotten to pay his mortgage, I think it was. This descended into utter farce when he couldn't find some paperwork or a book, I can't remember what it was. He unpacked this huge sports bag onto the counter, boxing gloves falling onto the floor etc...

I turned round to the woman behind me and said "At least you didn't have to stand through the first half of the performance". It would have been funny if I wasn't in a hurry but he went from Mr Positive Energy to in a complete flap in seconds, apologising to the queue of twenty people every five seconds. I think it was in Barclays and they didn't have the business counter on, which I wanted to use.
 
Worst example I've seen was in a bank. It was peak time near noon and the queue got massive. I was just quickly paying something in (or was supposed to be doing so).

It was a bloke at the counter and he had a large sports bag. He was telling the cashier (or is that teller?) about how he was doing some martial arts thing at a gym and waffling about positive energy. He was asking her if she could feel his positive energy through the glass (I kid you not...). He was saying he didn't do the "rushing around thing any more". Trying to chat her up likely.

He was just about to leave the counter when he realised he'd forgotten to pay his mortgage, I think it was. This descended into utter farce when he couldn't find some paperwork or a book, I can't remember what it was. He unpacked this huge sports bag onto the counter, boxing gloves falling onto the floor etc...

I turned round to the woman behind me and said "At least you didn't have to stand through the first half of the performance". It would have been funny if I wasn't in a hurry but he went from Mr Positive Energy to in a complete flap in seconds, apologising to the queue of twenty people every five seconds. I think it was in Barclays and they didn't have the business counter on, which I wanted to use.
Hahaha brilliant! Cheered me up no end lol
 
I can relate to so many of the 'rants' in this thread!
I've lived in Portugal for almost 13 years and I have to say this place teaches you patience.
Cash machines, or 'Multibanco' as they call them here: you can do all sorts on them, and this has been the case for over 20 years. Pay bills, top up phones, pay your council tax, the list goes on. And they do! As @Spectre says, you only want to draw a few Shekels to do whatever and you end up (patiently) waiting while someone, usually old & dithery, picks their way through the various options on each and every transaction that they've been saving up since the turn of the century.
THEN there's the supermarket queue. Like the people in front, you've been standing with a carton of milk & a couple of bananas for a good few minutes, but NO-ONE thinks to have the cash or card ready before the cashier rings up the total. Me? I've mentally totted up how much it will come to and try to have the amount ready. I'll even make it obvious to 'hint' at least to the one person in front of me to do the same... but no, hints do not work here. And yes, as it's a small town there is a frequent exchange of vital gossip between said dithers and cashier.
Having said all this, it doesn't actually bother me. It did, but once you accept that this is how it will always be, you realise that in a way it actually adds to the charm of place and just going with the flow doesn't hurt at all.
Someone once said 'Remember, everything that is wrong with the place keeps the Germans away'. But I'm not saying who that someone is.....;)
 
I know it's not exactly on-topic from my original post but I hate checkouts too...

I can relate to so many of the 'rants' in this thread!
I've lived in Portugal for almost 13 years and I have to say this place teaches you patience.
Cash machines, or 'Multibanco' as they call them here: you can do all sorts on them, and this has been the case for over 20 years. Pay bills, top up phones, pay your council tax, the list goes on. And they do! As @Spectre says, you only want to draw a few Shekels to do whatever and you end up (patiently) waiting while someone, usually old & dithery, picks their way through the various options on each and every transaction that they've been saving up since the turn of the century.
THEN there's the supermarket queue. Like the people in front, you've been standing with a carton of milk & a couple of bananas for a good few minutes, but NO-ONE thinks to have the cash or card ready before the cashier rings up the total. Me? I've mentally totted up how much it will come to and try to have the amount ready. I'll even make it obvious to 'hint' at least to the one person in front of me to do the same... but no, hints do not work here. And yes, as it's a small town there is a frequent exchange of vital gossip between said dithers and cashier.
Having said all this, it doesn't actually bother me. It did, but once you accept that this is how it will always be, you realise that in a way it actually adds to the charm of place and just going with the flow doesn't hurt at all.
Someone once said 'Remember, everything that is wrong with the place keeps the Germans away'. But I'm not saying who that someone is.....;)

Even worse is when people don't start to bag their items until all of their purchases have been scanned and pushed to the bagging area of the checkout.

I've seen it in supermarkets but the worst example was in a local Wilkinsons (cheap homeware shop). It happened to be a woman, she literally had a trolley full of detergent, shampoo, drain cleaner, fabric softener... Everything you could imagine, like she's must went down the aisle and picked at least one of everything. Only one till on...

She waited until the cashier had scanned everything before beginning to put them into bags. I'm sure in most places they ask if you want bags first for this exact reason.
 
ICELAND, bloody ICELAND!! I always end up in a queue behind a home delivery customer. Doesn't bother me as I'm not usually in much of a rush these days.
What does bother me is that the checkout assistant is frantically scanning and bagging their shopping while the customer leans on the trolley doing jack. After packing 10 bags of shopping the assistant gives the final tally and only then does the customer retrieve her handbag from the bottom of the trolley to get her purse.
I can feel one of my heads coming on :mad:;)
 
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