Anti mag-got jokes....

Dutcho

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An old man is walking his dog when he finds a lamp,knowing about lamps he swiftly rubs the dirt off of it and is surprised when a genie appears.
The genie looks at the old man and says,"I'm new at this so i can only grant you 1 wish..and try to keep it simple".The old man thinks for a few seconds,then replies"See my dog,i love my dog,i've got no relatives so my dog is my family.My wish is for my dog to live as long as me."
"Hey,hold on",says the genie,"I said nothing too hard.Thats a bit much to ask a beginner.I'm sorry but you'll have to try again".
Once more the man thinks then says,"Ok,I wish for Newc****e to win the Premier league".
This time the genie thinks for a few seconds,then replies......
" Lets have another look at that dog"


Titus Bramble is ill,so Soun'ass' offers to go shopping for him.
Whilst at the supermarket Soun'ass' bumps into Mick McCarthy.
"What are you doing here?"asks Mick.
"Getting a bag of potatoes for Titus Bramble",says Soun'ass'.
McCarthy replies,"Sounds like a fair deal".



The fire brigade phones [email protected] in the early hours one morning...
"I'm afraid Sid James Park is on fire",says the fireman.
"The cups,save the cups",screams [email protected]
"Its ok sir",replies the firefighter,"the blaze hasn't reached the kitchen yet"!!!



Two boys are playing football in the park when one of them is attacked by a rottweiler.
Suddenly a man rushes over,wrestles the dog off of the boy and during the struggle breaks
the dogs neck.All the while a passing newspaper reporter has been watching.He runs to the scene,
pen and paper in hand,ready for his next big story.He writes.."Sunderland fan saves boy from
vicious animal." The man interrupts:"But i don't support Sunderland."The reporter starts again:
"Middlesboro fan saves boy from horrific attack."The man interrupts again:"I'm not a smoggy either."
The reporter asks:"Well who do you support then?" "[email protected]"replies the man.
So the reporter writes: "Geordie b*****d kills family pet!!!"


A Mackem and a geordie are watching the news,the report is about a man threatening
to jump off of a tall building.The Mackem has already seen this report so decides to make some
fast money,"£10 he jumps"says the Black cat.
The barcode accepts the bet and the pair watch the rest of the news item.
The man jumps and the [email protected] fan pays the £10.The Mackem laughs and says
"I saw that report earlier and knew he jumped."To which the barcode replies,
"Yeah,i saw it earlier too but i didn't think he would do it again"..




[email protected] have moved quickly to halt rumours of a rift between She-ra and [email protected]
A maggot spokesman said,"It is ridiculous to suggest there is a personality clash between the two...
everybody knows neither of them has one



... All in good fun ;)
 

hatab

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Biggav

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Dutcho said:
As always m8;)

You know the score and i'm not talking about 3-2 lol

The difference is I can laugh and not get bitter, can you ?
Ill try my best ;)

keep it good natured thats what its all about

I was bitter on sunday I had my 9 year old son at his first derby game only to be abused by a mini bus full of cowards on the walk up to the ground.

Fecking tossers hurling abuse out of the window but when you challenge them they accelerate away. The bairn was pretty shook up but the result put him alright;)

I know both teams have their arseholes following them, but its not about football anymore. I know Im getting old when I write this shite as I used to think it was fun when Ive been to derby games years gone by in the wrong end.

anyway Im off to bed now to dream about emres free kick again lol;)
 
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