BRIAN1956
DW Joke King
A businessman entered a Pub, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks.
After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, and then he ordered another double scotch.
After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch.
Finally, the bartender said,
"Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all nightlong.
But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another.
"The customer replied,
"I'm looking at a photo of my wife.
When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending.
"Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him,
"I want you to run outside as fast as you can.
Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes.
You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you."
So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door.
Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom.
He had the look of obvious relief on his young face.
"Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?"
"I didn't have to go that far, mom.
Just as I got to the front door,
I found a box that had a sign on it:
FOR THE SICK."
After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, and then he ordered another double scotch.
After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch.
Finally, the bartender said,
"Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all nightlong.
But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another.
"The customer replied,
"I'm looking at a photo of my wife.
When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending.
"Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him,
"I want you to run outside as fast as you can.
Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes.
You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you."
So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door.
Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom.
He had the look of obvious relief on his young face.
"Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?"
"I didn't have to go that far, mom.
Just as I got to the front door,
I found a box that had a sign on it:
FOR THE SICK."
