Good news bad news

BAD NEWS
CELTIC striker Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink is set to clinch a return to Holland in the next 24 hours after opening signing talks with PSV Eindhoven and FC Twente.

the giant hitman returned home to thrash out his future after making a final appearance for the Hoops in Sunday's tribute match to Tommy Burns.

The Dutchman had hoped to land a new deal at Parkhead but following the resignation of manager Gordon Strachan he is now on his way back to the Netherlands.

Vennegoor of Hesselink, 30, made his name at Twente before earning a move to PSV in 2001 and then won a £3.5million switch to Glasgow three years ago. Now the Holland international is poised to call time on his Celtic career.

GOOD NEWS
This will cut down the size of the queues in Celtic shops when new strips come out. Vennegoor of Hesselink shirt printing must have a headache to do or spell for that matter.

How many Manchester United player does it take to change a lightbulb

0 according to the Daily Mirror

The stars of Manchester United are so pampered they even have someone to change their lightbulbs.

Left-back Patrice Evra, 28, told how his every whim is taken care of by the club’s gofers – down to the simplest of DIY jobs.

Under the watchful eye of player liaison manager Barry Moorhouse they are on hand 24 hours a day to have cars fixed, Jacuzzis repaired and domestic niggles sorted.

Frenchman Evra, who lives in a £3million Cheshire mansion, said: “This club is a big family because everybody works together. You can ask Barry anything. When you have a problem with your car, the Jacuzzi or the light, he is there.

“When you see people like this you want to make them happy and win.”

Barry said: “Some people describe me as a Jim’ll Fix It.”

A club source said the gofers made sure stars’ lives ran smoothly off the pitch. They added: “United have players from all over the world and it can be difficult for them to settle.

“It means they are not worrying about little things. The manager wants them to concentrate on football. But some requests are ridiculous.

“Players are so pampered. And it doesn’t stop at the players. Wags get treated better than royals.”