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I parked my car in a car-park in Prescot. Down the bottom of the car-park at the bottom of a slope a car was struggling to get moving because of the snow and ice. I had a spade in the boot of my car so I went to give them some help. After a lot of digging and pushing we finally got them...

Hi guys My daughter has a problem with her PC. The only way that she can shut down her machine is to pull the plug. When she restarts her PC at a later date it takes several mins while a disk is checked. I've tried a couple of restore points but they both failed. Anyone out there got any...

Hi I need some help but not sure if this is the right place,anyway I'm not looking for free broadband but to use mine on another computer. I have recently been given a VM/Ambit 256 modem wich is the same as the box that I use. I thought that I could maybe use it on my grandsons PC upstairs. I...

. A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the...

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what...

I have recently flashed my box (Kryptview) and was flicking through the channels, and on channel 0510 I came across this warning from V.M. Please be aware the set top box you are using is unauthorised and you are committing a criminal offence by using it to receive programmes from V.M. If...

According to a news report, a certain private school in Brisbane was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the...

Tracey and Dawn, two blondes, went out one day and each bought a pig. When they got home, Tracey turned to Dawn and said 'Dawn how are we gonna tell who owns which pig?' Dawn says 'Well Tracey, I'll cut one of the ears off my pig, and then we can tell them apart' 'Ah that’s a great idea'...

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An Asian woman goes in to her local NAB Branch and begins exchanging her Money. After the transaction is complete she asks the teller 'Why it change,?? Yesserday I get two hunat dollar for my money, today I only get one hunat Eighty?' The teller looked over his glasses and says very...

A man goes to the doctor concerned about his wife’s health. He describes her symptoms. The doctor says, "It's either AIDS or Alzheimers. The symptoms are very similar in the early stages." The man is obviously upset & says "Surely you must be able to tell the difference... isn't there...

Paddy Murphy shed his mortal coil and ascended to Heaven. Upon his arrival, a concerned St Peter met Paddy at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry Paddy' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease...

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A woman sitting in a Perth restaurant suddenly began to cough. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Kenzie and Brian sitting at the next table turned to look at her. Kin ya swaller? asked Kenzie. The woman signaled 'No!' desperately...

An Irish priest is in a church on Saturday afternoon, hearing confessions... A man walks in and kneels down and begins his confession Father, it has been two weeks since my last confession. These are my sins: Last night I had sex with Fanny Green. That is your sin? Yes, Father. You are...

A Missouri farmer got in his pickup, drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the farmhouse door. A young boy about 12 opened the door. "Is yer paw home?" the farmer asked. "No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well, said the farmer, is yer maw here?"...

Just watched the first episode of series 7 and it's every bit as good as the other series......But then I am a fan of "Shield". Also watched the first in series of "Sons of Anarchy" and this promises to be very good. Let me know what you think.

King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those Knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to...

Is this Bush and Rice or Abbot and Costello? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfwRb_XKFvA

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a...