Bulldog - How to open a telecoms company.

1. Find an abandoned warehouse. There's some going cheap in Longbridge.

2. Make sure it has a phoneline, you only need one mind as answering calls wont be a priority.

3. Go to the local 6th form and get some engineering students to run the 'technical' side for you.

4. Advertise in the job centre for telephone staff, its best if they dont have any experience as that would conflict with the no training youre about to give them.

5. Buy some monkeys. Bonobos are best, they can handle every other part of the business for you.

6.Set up a business email address, leave your Bonobos to answer the emails. They probably wont be able to but that doesnt matter as your angry customers wont be able to get through on your one phone line anyway.

7. Insert your fingers firmly in whatever orifices the sun dont shine in and youre away!

This method has been tried and tested by Bulldog Communications (pamphlets are available on request)


Stupid focking company aint a focking clue how to keep my modem connected... Get it sorted bullshit.. or i will cancel

Anyone else had dealings with bullcrap broadband?? Whats your experiance??

Now is just me or do i sense that your unhappy?

I have heard that their standards have fallen. Wasn't they just taken over? I will give them credit for one thing though - they started the price war on ADSL.

once the service is running sweet its ok but i to have had murders with them...

i asked for a custermer support manager to ring me and i never got my call returned it took a week to reply to my email complaint aswell... i was on hold one night for 45 mins (ok credit its a free call 0800) and when 8 oclock came i was disconnected and my call was not dealt with

this was before they had even connected me so you might of been mad imagine how i was feeling i was an upgrade... and what pissed me off is they deal with new custermers before old ones i have been paying my bills for over a year now and they put any fooker infront of me !!!

i would not mind but they took my order as an upgrade and never mentioned it would take longer than the 20 working days they suggested... it actually took more like 40 working days !!!

but yeah there custermer services is the worse i have come up against and even setting up my brothers account they never gave him a internet login and told him its a standard one bullshit and one lady tried to put him on the dial up and said he dont need an adsl modem for highspeed he needs a dial up modem lmfao

lucky he phoned me afterwords and said i had given him the wrong modem and i told him this lady is ten years away from knowing anything about the internet (so yes they hire monkeys aswell!!!)


so really my verdict is 3 out of 10 and the 3 for me is because i have not had your problems with connecting its always on and i do get very high speeds all the time... but as for there custermer services and technical department its not worth a wánk !!!

so steer clear until they know how to look after custermers and not try to chuck as many new custermers in as possible - and its cable and wireless that has taken over and it shows to !

Mickie D said:

and what pissed me off is they deal with new custermers before old ones i have been paying my bills for over a year now and they put any fooker infront of me !!!

Click to expand...

same with Pipex m8 .... seems that all companies prefer to look after their new customers rather than their old customers (been with Pipex for 3 years now .... not for much longer though)

YAY... wonders never cease,,, bullshit broadband have finally sorted out my internet connection.. first i was set at 8MB.. my line could hand it so they set me at 4MB.. yes fine as long as i get my speeds i pay for... nope not true infact when its set at 4MB your dl speed is that of 3MB.. so i jut had my connection set at 4.1MB ... now im getting my speed i pay for.. im tempted in asking for 5MB net connection but im worried it will lower my snr below 12 think thats all i can get for now...

Cancelled Bullshit today... they ******s and they done deserve my monies.... currently im paying for 4MB service.... the cheeky ****ers have lowered my connection speed to 2MB but im still paying the extra money for 4MB oh dropouts drop outs... lower the speed.,... this company is incompatant... they shouldnt be alowed to trade up north **** them back off to london where there shit service belongs