Thread: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

     
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  1. #1
    Admin Mick's Avatar
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    Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

    I was looking at some of our Adult Jokes as they are very popular to guests and thought it would be fun to run a small competition, and maybe invite guests to join and post their funny adult / sex jokes.

    Register here ---> Register

    So each month the best adult sex joke posted in this thread will win 10, The VIP Members will decide in the VIP room who wins!

    This Competition is open to EVERYONE!

    RePosts Jokes will not count! the vote starts on the 31 of each month!
    4 Jokes per Month, Per user!

    Here is one Adult Joke (repost sorry) I found in an old thread that I thought was funny

    ------------------------------
    A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch tomato, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints!!

    The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch tomato, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around.

    ------------------------------


    WINNERS!!

    July 2013 - @die5el - https://www.digitalworldz.co.uk/37339...ml#post2327412

    Good Luck.
    Mick
    Last edited by Mick; 5th August 2013 at 19:15.

  2. #2
    VIP Member trevortron's Avatar
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    Re: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

    Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm.

    It was a disaster!

    Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!

  3. #3
    VIP Member trevortron's Avatar
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    Re: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

    A woman is walking down the street and sees a sign in the pet shop window reading, "FANNY LICKING FROG 25". Curious, the woman proceeds inside and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the fanny licking frog please." To which the shop keeper replies........ "Oui Madam!"

  4. #4
    VIP Member trevortron's Avatar
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    Re: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

    Kids know far too much these days. Today in the doctors waiting room, a little girl had her Barbie and Ken dolls imitating the doggy position. I told her, " If you keep doing that, you'll end up with lots of little baby dolls." She replied, "I don't think so dickhead, he's doing it up her arse!"

  5. #5
    VIP Member roachieuk's Avatar
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    Re: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

    Boy: "Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
    Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

  6. #6
    DW Honored Member bigbadblue05's Avatar
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    Re: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

    Paddy cannot make his wife cum, so he goes to the doctor for some advice.
    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."
    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"
    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering."
    "Then get some A.C."
    "I can't afford air conditioning, I'm too poor."
    "Well, Paddy, do you have a good mate?"
    "Yeah, I've got a mate named Mick."
    "Well, ask your mate Mick to stand over you and the Mrs. with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."
    So, Paddy asks Mick for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Paddy is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Mick fanning them with the towel, but it's doing nothing for her.
    Paddy says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap."
    So Paddy takes the towel and starts wafting Mick, who is now shagging Paddy's Mrs. Not long after, Paddy's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!"
    Paddy shouts triumphantly, "You see, Mick?! That's how you waft a ****ing towel!"
    Last edited by bigbadblue05; 26th July 2013 at 14:51.

  7. #7
    Admin Mick's Avatar
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    Re: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

    4 jokes per month per User

    5 days left for the first winner.

    Regards
    Mick

  8. #8
    VIP Member thomasjcat's Avatar
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    Re: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

    A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mother on top of his father bouncing up and down. The mother sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She quickly dresses and goes to find him and, when the son sees his mother and asks, “What were you and Dad doing?”

    The mother replies, Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it.

    You’re wasting your time, said the boy.

    Why is that, asked his Mother, puzzled.

    Well, each time you go out shopping, the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up again.

  9. #9

    Re: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)

    So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."


  10. #10
    VIP Member miggy's Avatar
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    Re: Best Adult / Sex Jokes - Funny Sexy Joke COMPETITION (Adults Only)


    One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

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