Once upon a time Bronto and his elfish little friend Rat went shopping they bought suspenders and cheap sherry. Digidude's party was by invitation only. Tarts and Vicars and Little Bo Peep were the costumes, but only if you wear wellies filled with Jelly. They filled their pockets full of belly button fluff, stolen from a chav with lovely big mince pies. When all of a sudden the police arrived and squirted lots of negative Karma or maybe Korma over his enormous and delightful chin. An arresting moment could produce opportunities for seven dwarves to create a bath full of lubrication ready for snow white and the abominable snowman.
With temperatures falling, frozen testicles was how city looked with great passion fruit coulis and sweet mulled wine in a lobster thermidor with tinsel ecclesiastical collar, mincing along to Abba when suddenly Mick started dancing merrily, under the mistletoe with Louie Spence holding soft padded bra and panties.
Louie was holding a vibrating truncheon against Dutcho's ring while Exos brandished a massive purple pimple on his pulsing, sweat laden, forehead. He gently caressed his bulging iridescent safety jacket, which caused his pants to fall down. Louie squealed "what a sight!" and pulled out his large cracker, which went off quickly all over the local vicar. "Oh Dear!" exclaimed Santa , as he felt his sack go all moist. He'd dropped his fairy in surprise, and bent over in full expectation of a good game of leapfrog.
The game was so exciting Santa and his helpers held hands pointed the AK47 at the nearest DWinfraction candidate and let rip leaving a smell strangely like fish ears and chicken marinated in garlic with curry sauce. Bronto felt sad because everyone blamed his pathetic estranged previous lover herman, a Colditz escapee and Thai ladyboy with an enormous Bang Cock on his golden retriever headphones. Herman placed his large piece of chocolate cake on Santa's freezing cold assets immediately before sitting upon Herman's large frankfurter.
Herman's blood pressure tablets were strangely fruity and tasted like Santa's plums which when peeled looked remarkably like Fatima Whitbread's enormous collection of kumquats. The citrus taste and firm texture brought tears to Roland Orzabal's collection of great songs. Herman hated Roland and decided to squeeze his swollen knee with a nutcracker. Squeezing hard with both hands ,the knee popped and covered Herman's own personal collection of triangular planetary haemorrhoids with circular knitting stitches. Up went the preperation-H, down went the Vicars drawers, instantly Herman got a pint of cheese and inserted it firmly into his big hairy anus, moaning in pleasure, despite the onion tied to his ripe dangling testicles.
E45 cream copiously applied didn't help angus sell his oak smoked kippers to Prince Harry and Lee Majors but helped in greasing up stewartthemole's copy/paste screwup because he loved exposing himself to elderly transvestites covered in cheese Wotsits whilst singing Good King Wenceslas but than never.
Talking gibberish, Tamarc jumped for joy and sank his erect ladyfingers into Herman's inflatable Paddair dolls crusty belly button filled with trifle. Everybody was invited, even the policemen had second helpings of the innocent looking cream puff with lashings of dirty double silk stockings and suspenders, nipple clamps, gimp mask and leather. Skipped posts where becoming a nuisance, a good spanking for miggy was eagerly anticipated by sticky vicky and that little tart paddair in his little pixie outfit and dangling boubles. Paddair was ready in crotchless panties, suppository ready and, being larger than a pineapple, it needed some lubrication supplied by leakage. The only issue was that he was supping from a poisoned chalice that Buzzer bought in a dodgy car boot sale. The New Year crotchless antics were just comming to an end, like this story.