I just visited Conjunctivitis.com.......now that's a site for sore eyes
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.
I threw some snow at my girlfriend. She didn't catch my drift.
I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.
I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue and I couldn't put it down.
So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand.
I was having dinner with my boss and his wife and she said to me, "How many potatoes would you like Craig?". I said "Ooh, I'll just have one please". She said "It's OK, you don't have to be polite" "Alright" I said "I'll just have one then, you stupid cow!
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny, you couldn't swing a cat in there.
I was walking down the road the other day and I saw this advert in the window that said “Television for Sale – £10 - Volume Stuck On Full”. I thought: “I can’t turn that down”.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.
I threw some snow at my girlfriend. She didn't catch my drift.
I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.
I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue and I couldn't put it down.
So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand.
I was having dinner with my boss and his wife and she said to me, "How many potatoes would you like Craig?". I said "Ooh, I'll just have one please". She said "It's OK, you don't have to be polite" "Alright" I said "I'll just have one then, you stupid cow!
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny, you couldn't swing a cat in there.
I was walking down the road the other day and I saw this advert in the window that said “Television for Sale – £10 - Volume Stuck On Full”. I thought: “I can’t turn that down”.
