75% of 14 year old girls in liverpool admit to regularly going out binge drinking. who the hell is looking after their kids?
Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "suspicious car". Apparently it had tax, insurance and the radio was still in it.
A Scouser is driving through Liverpool with his dog in the passenger seat. A police panda car follows him for about half a mile and then puts its siren and stop sign on indicating to him to pull over. As the copper approaches the car he sees the Scouser is slapping the dog`s head. He tells the driver to wind down his window and asks "Why are you hitting the dog?" The Scouser replies, "The bloody thing just ate my tax disc"
Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked, it'd get mugged.
There are so many boarded-up houses in Liverpool, that the window cleaner goes round with a sander
Freezing temperatures in Liverpool this morning.
Reports say it was so cold a scouser was seen with his hands in his own pockets!
What is the difference between a cow and a tragedy?
A scouser wouldn't know how to milk a cow.
What do you call a scouser in a suit?
What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
What do you call a Scouser in a white shell suit?